their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
