You can't motorboat a personality
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
