Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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