16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
