I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
