I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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