He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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