There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
