Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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