So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
