You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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