somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
