He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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