and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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