Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
