I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
