we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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