turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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