just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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