i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Never underestimate the power of titties
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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