If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
