Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
