so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
