omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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