why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
