if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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