If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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