I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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