The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
