He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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