Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
