MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
