Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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