the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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