i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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