I am puke
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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