Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
