She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You took a bar mat shot.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
