Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
