so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
