Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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