And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
