all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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