belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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