so explain again why im purple
no
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
