we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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