She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
