yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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