wrigley field is MILF paradise
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
