hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
