I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
