barbara walters just said penis...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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