I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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