all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
