When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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