trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
